GIFTS, GIFTS, GIFTS!!

I hate feeling like I always have to buy gifts for everyone.  It's annoying to me that even if I don't attend a party or special event that I still feel obligated to buy a gift/send a gift.  This week alone I had to buy a birthday gift for my husband (of course), a gift for my nephew's birthday (also - of course), two other birthdays of very dear friends who I adore (so, yes of course, as well) and now...here's where I start to get nuts about gift giving:  I have to buy gifts for my cousin's daughters (two of them with closely dated birthdays) - I feel obligated here because honestly, my cousin always buys nice gifts for my son.  The difference is that I only have one child and my cousin has several, so it's hard to keep up.  In the next two weeks I have 3 more birthdays of friends, a baby's baptism and oh yeah...CHRISTMAS!!  WTF?  I feel like my poor husband is only working to buy gifts for people lately.  Why does every event or birthday require gifts?  The other night we went out with a large group of our friends for my husband's birthday. I told everyone in advance - "No Gifts Please!!"  But many of our friends still felt obligated to buy him something.  It makes me feel bad because after the costs of dinner, the gift was way too much.  Now my own birthday is only days away and want to know the truth??  I don't want to ask anyone to go out for my birthday because my husband's birthday dinner and gifts were way too expensive for most folks.  What's with all the gifting?  Can't we just be happy to be in each other's lives?  Why does everything require a gift to let people know you care.  I care because I showed up and made the effort - but I can't ever say that out loud because that would be rude. 

Boobie Tassles for the Sheltered

Just recently, I have discovered that mostly everyone I know is extremely sheltered.  Who knew that most people haven't had the life that I have had?!  I thought that everyone couldn't wait to move out of their parents house at age 17 and move to NYC to begin a life of pure thrill.  Who knew that most people never worked in nightclubs at 18, partied with gangsters & drug dealers & rockstars, traveled the world from Paris to Rome to Buenos Aires and lived life by the seat of their pants...  Trust me - I don't think that my life is a "model lifestyle" - that's for sure.  I sometimes can't believe that I am still here.  I should have been dead considering some of the stories I could tell you about.  But here I am now - mother, house wife, I cook, I clean, I take my kid to mommy & me classes...I am a suburban woman.  I just find it shocking that when I talk to my friends and neighbors - no one really has done much of anything.  When I share my stories - I think most people think I am lying (that's if they even bother to listen).  I think most folks think I am the "crazy lady" on the block who makes up stories and tall tales to get attention or something.  The truth is that it's all true.  I've lived a great, fullfilled life - no regrets.  I have so many amazing, insane experiences and I've lived to talk about it.  I think it's awesome.  Sometimes I miss it.  Sometimes I miss the thrill.  Funny enough, I think this is just who I am.  When I was a little girl, I couldn't wait to grow up and become a Las Vegas show girl - boobie tassles and all.  I don't know many 4 year old little girls who dream about wearing boobie tassles the way I did (and still do).

"A no-regrets night out"

There's something awful I tend to do every single time I go out with friends:  I drink and then say stupid crap that's funny at the moment (at least to me) but sometimes not so funny the next day!  It's not like I am intentionally trying to be an asshole - I just say what I think.  I think a lot.  Way more than the normal person thinks...at least I think.  Anyway, far too often, I wake up the next morning and say, "oh no...I hope this person doesn't feel bad..." or "ugh - I wonder if that person knew I was kidding?"  Then I can't stop thinking about whether or not someone may or may not be upset at something I might have said.  It's a vicious circle of insanity that I always find myself trapped in.  To be perfectly honest - I don't have to drink to behave this way either.  It's just who I am.  I am not trying to hurt people or annoy them.  I just say what's on my mind and most of the time - it's really funny (again, at least to me).  I like laughing about obvious things that are comical.  What's wrong with that?  Most of the time, I laugh and poke fun of myself.  I think I am a total nut and the shit I do is truly insane - but funny.  Anyway, I wish there as a button I could push to just "be myself" and have a great time without feeling regrets the next morning - about anything. 

Welcoming Wagon

Why can't more people just be nice and reach out to others?  What's wrong with going over a new neighbor's house and bringing a freshly baked bread or a homemade gift to say, "hello" and "welcome to the neighborhood!"  What's the big deal?  I wish more people would reach out and show simple acts of kindness.  The world would be a much nicer place...instead people peer through their curtains wondering whether or not the new family that is moving in across the street will mind their own business.  How weird have we become?  I remember when I was a little kid we used to have "block parties" - the whole darn street would shut down.  The local police would put up "detour" signs and an entire block would be shut down for a neighborhood BBQ.  It was the best.  My parents weren't best friends with all our neighbors, but it was the one time of the year that everyone would get together, say hello and hang out.  Each neighbor would drag their grills into the road and cook, drink cold beer from their coolers and listen to music.  The kids would ride bikes, roller skate and play games...it was the best.  Now, I can't even get returned Christmas cards from neighbors.  It's like everyone just fell off the train when it comes to having fun!

Cleaning lady?!

So I don't have a cleaning lady.  I am a stay-at-home mom with only one child.  My friends can't believe that I don't have a cleaning lady!  I can't believe some of my friends that DO!  First of all - thank you very much to those who have come into my home and drooled over the cleanliness.  I appreciate it because it is hard work.  Meantime, it's my job.  My job as a fulltime mom & house wife is to provide a clean, healthy, stable environment for my family.  It's not that hard to run a vacuum across the floor or scrub a toilet.  Honestly, I think it's insane when other stay-at-home moms I know have cleaning people come!  There are some exceptions to that rule...of course:  one of my friends has 4 children and is a living taxi cab all day.  Her job is racing around driving her kids here, there and everywhere.  She is barely home, let alone does she have time to scrub and clean.  So her situation is an exception.  But seriously, I get crazy when I hear of moms in my situation who refuse to clean their house...they would rather pay someone to do it for them!  I have the option and I choose to put the extra money into a savings account for my kid's future.