"A no-regrets night out"

There's something awful I tend to do every single time I go out with friends:  I drink and then say stupid crap that's funny at the moment (at least to me) but sometimes not so funny the next day!  It's not like I am intentionally trying to be an asshole - I just say what I think.  I think a lot.  Way more than the normal person thinks...at least I think.  Anyway, far too often, I wake up the next morning and say, "oh no...I hope this person doesn't feel bad..." or "ugh - I wonder if that person knew I was kidding?"  Then I can't stop thinking about whether or not someone may or may not be upset at something I might have said.  It's a vicious circle of insanity that I always find myself trapped in.  To be perfectly honest - I don't have to drink to behave this way either.  It's just who I am.  I am not trying to hurt people or annoy them.  I just say what's on my mind and most of the time - it's really funny (again, at least to me).  I like laughing about obvious things that are comical.  What's wrong with that?  Most of the time, I laugh and poke fun of myself.  I think I am a total nut and the shit I do is truly insane - but funny.  Anyway, I wish there as a button I could push to just "be myself" and have a great time without feeling regrets the next morning - about anything.